It wasn’t too long ago, on Valentine’s Day, that I sat and hoped for roses- lots of them. I wanted to be showered with gifts and love- superficial love. I would have gauged the success of the day on how much money was spent and how special he made me feel. And to be honest, unless he hung the moon, I probably would have been disappointed.
It wasn’t too long ago that I wanted the 50 Shades fantasy. The passion. The intensity. It seemed like the ideal. I was insecure and certainly insecure with my relationship. I had no idea what would fulfill my heart and make me feel whole- the movies definitely make it look pretty good. I thought that a bouquet of roses and some frivolous gifts would satisfy.
It wasn’t until a few years ago, that I began to see what real love was. It definitely wasn’t risque and filled with shallow gifts. It wasn’t 50 Shades of anything. It was and is real, deep, long-lasting, and sacrificial.
It stood by me as I delivered four babies- covered in laboring sweat and exhausted beyond belief. It rubbed my back as I threw up during every single pregnancy with my “two-day old” messy bun and sweat pants on. It gave baths to little ones when I was too tired and worn to do it myself. It brought me flowers and sweet acrostic poems to brighten my day and make me feel worthy. It shared the bed with me even when I had been unkind and deserved the couch. It was and is real and unwavering and long-lasting.
I thought I desired the 50 Shades kind of love. I was young and naive. One thing, though, that I want to make abundantly clear, is that the love that I have now is a gift. I settled for nothing short of magical, spiritual, and eternal. And, if you’re looking for intensity, this is it. Nothing is more intense than Biblical love and intimacy. Biblical intimacy isn’t whips & chains, it’s gentle and quiet and forgiving. It loves when you’re unlovable and breathes life into you when you are undeserving.
Biblical love grows old with you and sees your beauty with each aging wrinkle. Biblical love pours into your soul and values your being. Biblical love sees you as a gift and cherishes you like gold. Biblical love holds your hand as you walk through life and desires you more with every step. It might not be the 50 Shades kind of passion and lust, but intimacy isn’t passion and lust. Bondage is made up of passion and lust. Intimacy is a God-given gift that is to be prayed over and fought for.
*Disclaimer: I have never read any of the 50 Shades of Grey books. I am merely addressing the issue due to its presence on my facebook newsfeed and in the media.